Been a while since I've blogged, due to a lovely soup of exhaustion, busyness, and anxiety. I'm not going to apologize for that, but I am going to take a look at some of it. Because reasons.
I have two major projects in the works for this business right now:
I'm super excited about both of them (and I'm planning on making them both digital, so no one has to pay exorbitant shipping), but every time I open the files to work on them I get hit with huge waves of anxiety and imposter syndrome. Who am I to instruct people on how to create healthy, fulfilling relationships with non-corporeal beings? I can barely keep my own life together, why do I think I'm qualified to design something to help others be more organized?
The short, honest answer is that it's my anxiety that doesn't think I am.
I have over a decade of working with non-corporeal entities under my belt. I've read other peoples' accounts and had lengthy discussions with other spirit workers. I've searched for resources that aren't culturally appropriative or homo/transphobic and don't just gloss over the issues inherent in dealing with spirits (and found none, btw).
I've struggled with anxiety and depression and the overwhelm that comes with trying to look at life in chunks of big goals. I still don't really like looking at life "five years from now" or whatever because I don't know where I'll be. I need something small and easy, not huge and terrifying--and I know I can't be the only one.
Logically, I know I'm "qualified" to create these things, and that they'll likely benefit other people. It's just hard to remember.
Pretty much, imposter syndrome is a bitch and the only way to kick its butt is to keep moving forward.
Even though it's terrifying. Even though anxiety and the world at large is telling us that our work isn't important or we're not good enough. Even though it's so incredibly hard to believe in ourselves.
Imposter syndrome and anxiety lie. Big time.
P.S. If you have anything in particular you'd like to see in either of these offerings, please drop me a line! They're both in development and I want to make sure I'm giving you things that will actually be interesting and useful.
Nonir is a queer pagan nerd and writes about various things in those realms.