I’ve had a realization lately, y’all. Honestly, it’s a little embarrassing that it took me this long to get there. But here we are; better late than never.
So, what is this realization?
It’s impossible to separate Wandering Jotun from politics, and that’s not a bad thing.
So how did I possibly convince myself that politics had no place here? Like, wow, self. That’s some impressive denial.
I have the ability to step away and hide from political conversations, thanks to being a white, cishet-passing person--and I’m fully aware of that being a manifestation of my personal privilege that so many others don’t have.
I’ve been wrestling with this intense guilt and shame of using (maybe even abusing) that privilege over the last several months. As I’ve watched from the sidelines as social injustice runs rampant through my country, I’ve struggled with wanting to speak out but also wanting to keep this “safe space” where I just provide support without drama or politics.
Yeah, okay, that was ridiculously naïve and silly, and I’ll be the first to admit it.
This realization that Wandering Jotun is inherently political, because society politicizes the very existence of marginalized people has been a fire under my feet and a hammer to my chest. It’s made me want to get back on the horse, to speak out, to do something to provide the support and community that inspired this entire project. And it’s also activated intense anxiety that I haven’t done enough, shame that I hid inside my own privilege, and outright fear of going down this path while the world grows more and more dangerous for marginalized communities.
So. What now?
Now, I think, I work toward embracing the fact that this is my resistance, my way to fight the injustice, and that it’s also a place where my political views have to co-exist with creating. I have to find my own personal balance between caring for my mental health and being out here as a creative activist.
I don’t have any answers. I don’t know what’s coming down the pike (but I have a feeling it’s going to be pretty shitty).
But I do know that I can’t hide any more. So, here I am. In all my messy, depressed, anxious, liberal-as-fuck glory. If we can call it glory.
P.s. Don't forget to grab a copy of the Apocalypse Survival Kit before the price goes up on October 20th!
Nonir is a queer pagan nerd and writes about various things in those realms.