Has someone ever told you that they love you unconditionally, but you can tell they don’t actually mean it? Say, a parent who disapproves of your sexuality or gender presentation. You can never be sure if they’ll scold you, ignore you, or worse if you’re truly yourself. Kind of undermines the entire concept of “unconditional,” doesn’t it?
I get it. I mean, we’re all human. We all have limits and sometimes we don’t even know what those are until we hit them.
But it also hurts when someone says they love you no matter what but doesn’t (or even if you’re not sure whether or not they do). It hurts a lot. Trust me. I’ve been there.
It keeps you on edge, makes you wary. You start hiding the parts of yourself that you’re not sure are approved. It’s exhausting, especially if you’re like me: recovering from past emotional abuse, people-pleasing like woah, and already constantly walking on eggshells.
But, holy crap, it’s amazing what knowing that you are totally and fully loved can do.
We all need someone to have our backs, to be there no matter what. And sometimes it’s hard if not impossible to find that person on this plane. That’s okay.
I’m not saying that everyone should have the same relationship with their spirit companions, if you even go down the spirit work path.
But I am saying that sometimes spirituality can provide that foundation of love that we need to thrive.
Obviously, it’s not for everyone, and it will take different forms for different people. Your mileage may vary.
For me at least, I don’t know what I’d do without my spirit companions. For the first time in my life, I’ve learned what unconditional love really feels like. And there’s no way I’m going back.
P.S. Don't forget to preorder a copy of the Brain Beasties Oracle to help cultivate some unconditional self-love, too!
Nonir is a queer pagan nerd and writes about various things in those realms.